In Portland, OR.
from the depths of 5 layers of surface land-mass,
deposits of sediment and golden, rolling endless hills
of feeling and experiencing
loneliness deep in arches
made by sea-weed kelp forests
seemingly celestial by-ways.
Atop mountains
(photo-synthesized)
gardens of grey neon.
Forging through memories
of all the pain that was swept up again,
by all of the trivial
ins and outs of my every day experience.
so-low.
solo show sailing out to sea.
So imagining I would be with you
until I escaped and ended up by your side.
Even though we both had changed,
our communities were the same-
and it was so glorious to be among you,
still.
In this memory that we were forming
that was no longer about happiness,
but about side-stepping
Maybe avoiding the ontological trauma
we had endured being, separate from one another.
And maybe learning that it was only me missing you-
And romantic -OH- this sentiment was not double edged.
It was not head to head
it was head to tail
edge to handle
Being together, we were, and again remembering why
it happened that we fell
apart
field faked roaming
waist deep and sniffing
pollin-sleet, skin/fresh air in cities.
It's ok that I let you,
and all of this.
go.
